Thursday, October 16, 2014

What is Good In Life?

Last night local Dwarf Tane wandered around to the Dunn-geon for a 2400 point game.
I thought I'd give some potted highlights for the amusement of all.
  • Tane rolled a "2" for his unpaid for benefit roll at the start of the game. Meant his General hated mine. Cost "nada".
  • Both Spelleaters were activated but failed to work. Ha....starts to balance the points I wasted on a Dispel Scroll.
  • One of his Grudgethrowers decided to have a sleep-in and moved onto the board on Turn 1.
  • The other decided to misfire Turn 2 before being run over by Hexwraiths.
  • En route to said Grudgethrower, the Hexwraiths took out a Gyrocopter whose pilot had been drinking the Koolaid that they were the new hotness.
  • Still he wasn't going to be alone. All three of his mates met ignominious deaths (one did eventually kill a unit of Dire Wolves).
  • Between a rock and a hard place - well actually 3" from back board edge and with the Khandallah #43 bus 8" in front - a unit of Hammerers Longbeards with BSB and Runesmith General charge said bus.
  • Hating the enemy general - even for free - is of no use when you don't get to strike. Baby Vamp makes short work of Runesmith General.
  • Over three rounds of combat the Dwarf "Anvil" disappears, forcing the cowardly BSB to eventually fight....and immediately die.
  • Further ignomy when sole remaining Hammerer Longbeard rolls snakes eyes for his flee roll. The bus spends the rest of the pursuit removing crushed dwarf and ginger beard from under its hooves.
  • Two units of Miners arrive and immediately hightail it for my board edge, well away from the nasty vamps.
  • The remaining unit of Quarrellers (plus attached Runesmith) spend the rest of the game in their tower (let's call it "Terminus") surrounded by 161 very scary zombies.
  • Game ends with the bus removing the last Warmachine who has beaten and bullied a unit of wolves and bats.
So this was one for all the enlightened. Recently there's been a lot of nonsense written about how exciting Dwarfs now are. I can confirm the only exciting thing about them remains their squeals when they die.

My cup of tears tastes satisfying this morning.


Edited: To reflect that there are apparently differences between the various Dwarf infantry types

25 comments:

  1. Don't blame the army for the incompetence of the player. I made far too many unforced errors to avoid the slapping I received.

    Sadly it looks like I was right about an Ambush Dwarf army being weaker than a gunline; there's no point advancing to combat against an army that wants to fight and is so much better at it.

    Next time I'll have to match your Funbus with a Funbattery, hilarity will no doubt ensue.

    Thanks for the game though, much appreciated.

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    1. Two organ guns with accuracy (and 1 with flaming) is they best 295 points you will spend. Nightshround is less scary when you get a cannonball to the face because your bus just exploded into a fine mist of crumbling bone. :) Funbattery Time!

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    2. Some people screen important targets....it's called tactics McCrae.

      Coming to Palmerston North in 2017

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    3. Haha, isn't castling in a corner a legitimate tactic..?

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    4. My Ratties have found it can deliver acorns๐Ÿ˜

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    5. And we all know that Ironblasters like to be rewarded with acorns for castling in the corner, that's if the skull crushers left any for them.

      - Adam Richards

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  2. I'd rather fight dwarfs than undead any day
    j

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  3. Had a similar experience against Regan on Saturday, gave my dwarfs the first outing in years, first try of the new dwarf book. Full moon. Benefited the undead, I'm sure.

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  4. Ouch.... I would have thought hammerers would tear a BK bus to pieces. Glad to see the freshly painted hexwraiths doing their job well.

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    1. Two words Ryan.....Nightshroud

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    2. They were Longbeards, so only 1 attack instead of 2. ItP was nice, though with rerollable Ld10 Fear was unlikely to have been an issue.

      We did misplay the Nightshroud effect on the Longbeards charge; I checked the Vampire book and it's "...lose all Strength bonuses conferred from normal and magical weapons", so the Longbeards should have been S5 if in contact on the turn they charged (+1S bonus not based on weapons, rather on innate Dwarf awesomeness).

      I don't think it would have made too much of a difference though. Bad positioning means a lost game when you're made up of M3 infantry.

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    3. Given you put them on my lord and wight, T1 it would have made no difference...you caused no wounds to either....

      TBF Tane I gave you virtually no capacity to react...it wouldn't have mattered if you were M6

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    4. Longbeards? Sorry, silly me. TBF all Dwarf infantry look the same and carry the same weapons.

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    5. That's a fair point and that is why it is important to also look at the beard, a Longbeard has a beard that's reaches to the ground; while a hammer has enough attacks to make sure few enemies have the time to look at their beard.

      - Adam Richards

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  5. "Recently there's been a lot of nonsense written about how exciting Dwarfs now are. I can confirm the only exciting thing about them remains their squeals when they die." - Pete

    I can't concur with the excitement of Dwarf squeals.

    But I can confidently say they remain NO more exciting to play than the pervious edition.

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  6. One thing that should not go uncommented on. I believe that Tane is the only active Dwarf player in the Wellington tournament community. Other Dwarf players have sold up/shelved their armies and moved on to other (dare I say, more attractive) Warhammer armies. And this hasn't involved the use of 1080 etc.

    However in the Manawatu we have a hotbed of Dwarf activity (as an aside I hope the Bucketheads have read the NZTC pack and know they can only bring one Dwarf army per team). Things will need to be done to bring Palmy back into the mainstream - well as much as can feasibly be achieved. There is obviously an evil in that place that is running unchecked.

    Perhaps we need to resurrect the Karak Eight Peaks campaign to beat it out of them.

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    1. Team Bucketheads would love to bring 3 Dwarf armies. Alas for the players pack. At least Chaos Dwarfs are sort of dwarf-ish. I don't know how Jeff puts up with us all...

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    2. Perhaps we need to resurrect the Karak Eight Peaks campaign to beat it out of them. - Pete Dunn

      I am always happy to re-introduce any grobi filth or thaggoraki scum to my pretty axe, especially if it is to remind them who are the true masters of Karak Eight Peaks.

      Especially if we are allowed grudge matches, because then I am going to be knocking on the door of the Dunn-geon with a hammer-gram.

      - Adam Richards

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    3. Adam,

      You'd have to reach the door handle.

      Pete

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    4. Pete,

      Since when was a skaven or goblin taller than a dwarf?

      - Adam

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    5. Aaah Adam, ALL Skaven bar swarms and Giant Rats are bigger than Dwarfs. And I'm not only talking physically....clearly from your comment "intellectually" comes into it.

      Indeed I'd guess in some cases your average Skaven is taller than a Dwarf Lord (sic) artificially elevated on the backs of shieldbearers.

      In addition, the Skaven have much better whiskers..

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    6. I could handle all the comments about height, etc. (and fair enough, since who knows what it takes to make it in Thaggoraki society). However, the comment about better whiskers needs to be addressed, so you can definitely count me pre-registered for any Karak Eight Peaks tournament, and grudge match you for the first game.

      Be sure to bring your "corner sweet castle" embroidery with you, and I will be happy to add it and your sneaky whiskers add to the "To smite with hammer" list.

      *ahem*

      Axe grinding aside, would a Karak Eight Peaks tournament be feasible? There are at least six dwarf players, but are there enough skaven and O&G players? I can only recall you, Allan Hughes and James for skaven, then Neil and Jeff for O&G. Unless I am missing someone?

      - Adam Richards

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    7. You are forgetting my Dwarf army...oh wait.

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    8. Sorry Adam. Jeff and I teamed up against the rest of you would hardly be fair.

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