Monday, November 19, 2012

Champagne Dwarfism

So I called into Vermintide on the weekend....lots of people having fun. And of course three people wrecking people's weekends - yes, I'm talking about Dwarf players.

They bitch and moan (sorry, grumble) about what they would do with a new book but you know, GW knows and I certainly know what they would do ......nothing.

Here is a picture of one vocal Dwarf player's deployment.


No, the left of the picture is not his base edge....the top is. He waited until his opponent deployed and then put everything as far away as possible!

And there was no embarrassment. Other Dwarf players flocked to the table high-fiving their beardling on wrecking another player's day. Geez even Tane drove in, bringing his beardlings with him to share in such a morale-destroying move.

The Dwarfs then huddled around the table talking about the "Pretending to Charge Phase" and the "If I Can't have Magic, Neither Can You Phase" before getting positively euphoric when it got to the "Shooting Phase".

"What Runes have You Got?"

"It's not a proper warmachine unless you've doubled its base price"

"Hope you've got two layers of misfire protection"

And on and on......Soul-destroying.

20 comments:

  1. I think he deployed too far forward. He's asking for trouble with such an aggressive deployment.

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    1. I have to agree with you Tane; the cannon is not hard up on the board edge and the units are more than 1 inch apart.

      Joel v

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    2. Why isn't that unit of crossbowmen in two ranks he could have more shots - this is a waste of my time.

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  2. I was the lucky fellow having to play Simon in this picture. Best thing was, I got to play Dwarfs 2 games in a row! Even with all the sandcastling in the world, I was still able to scrape the win. Dwarf flesh always gets stuck in the tusks though....

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  3. At least one of those units should be facing backwards just in case and they are taking up too much board space....

    ... I did see a High Elf army castle up on Saturday, most shocking..

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  4. Hhhm, well since everyone gets sand in their undies about dwarf sand-castling in the corner, how about some zero or single deployment dwarf armies then?

    I am sure bringing a ninja dwarf army to a tournament would change the tune, since it would have about 90 S5 attacks, and 30 S6 attacks with a couple of 18" charges here and there.

    That make it more fun against dwarfs then?

    - Adam Richards

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    1. Sorry Adam, all I heard was "grumble, grumble, grumble"

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    2. Well that's like a skaven calling a goblin a sneak mate(Pete). With the amount of dwarf-like grumbling that you do about dwarf armies (e.g. their warmachines destroy my toys and monsters; they don't let people have magic phases; they don't break after one round of combat like some other armies do; their able to make their own magic items) I wouldn't be surprised if you secretly had a dwarf slayer army somewhere, that's just waiting for the new dwarf book to allow them into tournaments.

      PS: If that is the case, could I buy/borrow the goblin hewer and some doomseekers please? Chur,

      - Adam Richards

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    3. Well played my friend, well played!

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    4. Although I did type "their" instead of "they're" which is incorrect, must be the dwarf ale that everyone else wish they had as well. *chortle*

      - Adam Richards

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  5. I played a Dwarf player at the ETC who managed to get his entire army, including all war machines to within 6" of his banner that grants a 5+ ward vs shooting. Whole thing was tucked into the corner in a space about the size of a shoe. It was impressive.

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  6. My lord, I love this, THAT'S my army!

    I always tell people this, and still will, "Castling" is very strategic, you have to decide what guards your flank, where your heroes will go to max the bubble, how your warmachines (if any) will be placed. Then after that, how to break off from the castle to begin the assault/breakout. Then after ALL this, decide what to do next (I call this "Clean up time").

    But yes, great stuff!

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    1. Hold on hold on hold on.... "how your warmachines (if any) will be placed", if your castling without warmachines your doin it wrong. "assault/breakout", that would involve movement Simon.

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    2. You can still castle without having a single warmachine. The "Refused flank" tactic has been used for centuries, with and without warmachines.

      And at some point you have to move, or castling would be pointless other wise, why on earth would I let my opponent in-circle me and flank me and do all sorts of other nastiness.

      One of the key points of the refused flank and/or castle is to move at the last minute, to get the first charge or assualt of the fight when only having to move a few inches or yards.

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    3. I am pretty sure castling and a refused flank are two different things. So are you saying even if you had no warmachines you would still deploy in a corner and not move till the last minute? Now that is Ultra Dwarf, cutting out all the phases until turn 5-6. Sounds like fun...:)

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    4. Sounds like Ultra fun. And Castling and the refused flank come under the same military strategy but can be used in different ways...

      Like castling for one!

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    5. So your saying castling is a different type of castling??? Are we talking sandcastles on top of other sandcastles?? You stunties are really confusing, even for us greenskins!

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  7. Nobody has mentioned the greatest contribution to Warhammer made by dwarfs - the cannon fired by trained fleas.

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